the dying of the light

I often wonder why young people are so idealistic when at university and then become progressively more cynical upon contact with working life. Whilst I do object against blind optimism and naivete, I have seen the souring of ideals firsthand and it's not pretty.

A friend of mine; Teadog, is spending a couple of years in China learning Mandarin. He's mentioned a couple of times how grim and po-faced (my words, not his) the people often look when they are studying or working. It makes me smile because sometimes I think that could have been me. Do Chinese students even have (the luxury of) a post-adolescent idealistic phase?

Possibly idealism and imagination are intertwined. Once, when we had just about finished with secondary school, I was in the car with with Ravi and Meechy. We had stopped at some red lights. 'The lights just turned green,' I said [they hadn't]. 'in a parallel universe,' I clarified. Meechy spluttered as she often used to do when something random happened. I don't know what made me say it. Maybe they really had in another reality.

With Meechy and the gang, we built a little world where we made plans to travel the world by motorcycle, build a space shuttle with material from the scrapyard, and had a superhero called Spoon who would rescue us from creepy people. The point is, the imagination that ran riot when we were young is still colouring my reality a great deal. And I'd like it to stay that way.

often sought

In late spring, before I left London, my friend Anna O and I decided to wander down to the banks of the Thames in the hours after class had finished. We made our way to the river just below Waterloo Bridge; a bench facing the water was vacant and we strolled over. Inscribed on the bench, as there often is, was a small plaque with a dedication. It said, '[For that which was] much desired, often sought, never found'. Much laughter later, and as the light faded, Anna O and I had one of those conversations which you wish you had written down afterwards. I can't recall exactly what we said, but I do remember it was one of those talks which help you clarify what it you wanted to say but couldn't quite manage to until then. It was about those things which we wanted to find; in the world, in our lifetime, in ourselves. Here's to that search Anna O, you keep trying and so will I.