one of our own

Ryan had another braai at his house so we were all grouped round the fire in the middle of his backyard. After a yummy dinner and toasted marshmallows, the fire was burning quite brightly, warm enough for me to get sleepy. Ryan called me and motioned for me to curl up on the sofa inside with a blanket. 'Thanks,' I said (though in truth it was warmer by the fire!) and he said, 'No sweat, you're one of our own'. I've noticed an interesting thing about ingroups/outgroups here. If you are talking to a stranger, say someone in the shop or your landlord, they can be quite aggressive and hostile. However, once you are on the inside of a group, it's like some kind of amazing brotherhood where they will bend over backwards to help you. Sweet.

The number of posts has been rather pathetic so I thought I would cheat and put down some extracts from my journal. One of my friends back home, Cat, asked me what it was like to work with all those guys. Actually I haven't thought about it for a long time, though it was a huge struggle at first. People will look at you and automatically have less confidence in your reliability and strength because they see a girl. This manifested itself in some skippers swopping crew around so I was no longer crewing on their yacht and not talking to me/looking straight through me. However, what can you do but a) leave or b) grit your teeth and carry on until the bitter end. The second group of people are more tricky. These people, like Ryan and Lucky, have been absolutely lovely to me from day one for no apparent reason than they find me amusing and cute (as in it's cute and novel to be seen with a female crew member on board). OK well I suppose I do have a tendency to work on something slavishly ... occasionally ... sometimes. However, the flipside is that sometimes I feared that their liking for me as a person would cloud their professional judgement of my ability to crew , especially in strong winds. Other people working for the same company, but not sailing crew (and therefore never working with me) would treat me like a little girl, often they are middle-aged men and more than a little pervy. This I respond to politely, laugh if they do something like offer to help me carry a box or something, get a frosty reply if they cross the line and a punch if they are really rude (not in the face though don't worry).

So, extracts ...

Sunday 24 September 2006 - Today I was angry. I got angry at George today because he made me crew with Chris. I got annoyed b/c he was doing some things wrong. [At this stage, I could just about remember everything right as long as the other guy I was partnering with was messing up] Rod was saying how sometimes passengers are rude but what can you do, the customer is always right. That made me angry because the customer *isn't* always right. the customer's only right b/c you want his money but there shld be some things you're not willing to sacrifice for tips; things worth standing up for - like defending your friends when they're trying their best and still learning. The other thing that made me angry was that during the sail, George let a young woman take the helm for a bit. A fat smart ass guy said 'all tickets should be half price now b/c a woman is at the helm'. and instead of defending his crew, George added, 'we should bring out the lifejackets'. It took me a few moments but I'm glad I said 'I object' quite loudly. But I was sore that George hadn't defended women sailing. I was also angry that while Chris and I were working, sometimes I'd catch George sneering at us and there was a general atmosphere of derision and a bad vibe because Chris was on board.

Another night a whole bunch of us were at Ferryman's (local). A homeless woman came begging and Roger said to Emile, 'here comes your girlfriend'. I threatened to hit Roger with the newspaper but it really does make me angry. That woman would have been able to hear everything and she has feelings too. Sean said I was like his niece in that I'd studied a lot but don't seem to have experienced much of the world (the subtext being the more you see, the more jaded you become?). He said that it seemed like I was used to a different kind of crowd than the sailing guys. I said I was tired of my usual crowd and that's why I came here.

Sunday 12? October 2006 - I feel like most of the guys don't treat me seriously professionally or think I'm not capable. Everytime I joke with the guys I'm not sure if it's undermining my credibility professionally. And I'm not sure what to make of it when the guys sit at the picnic table and talk lecherously about girls. And everytime I'm helping to serve drinks rather than sailing/hoisting, passengers assume I'm the hostess rather than crew, which of course they wouldn't assume if I were a guy. Like the girl from Cantina (other local) who's told me twice now she'd like to do what I do, but who's also asked me why I'm doing a man's job. or the two old German men who as me as a joke, 'Isn't that a man's job?' as I was undoing the cleats on the reefing lines. 'No it's not' I said tartly.

They couldn't believe it when I told them how old I was. Roger had thought I was 21. I wonder if the big brotherly behaviour will stop now. I kind of like it in a way which is semi-contradictory (just because it's so much easier when others help you) but sometimes I have to push them away and say '*don't help me'. I had to say this and eventually snap at Lucky when flaking the foremain. On Friday I was tying up the sail tie and Joss walked up and said 'can I help you with that?' 'no I'm fine' I said emphatically but still politely as I tugged on the loop and dangled above the cabin by my hands, still hanging onto the sail (you must put your whole bodyweight into it, said Ryan once). I have worked out that I can do most things the guys can do, just have to do it slower and think of clever ways to use tools instead of brute strength.

the anger and the fury

It seems I've been inordinately pissed off this past month. My two favourite people have left the sailing company leaving only shadows of the team we used to be.

Sometimes I try to step back and think if I am getting irrationally irritated. Studying psychoanalysis seems to have unleashed a Pandora's box of previously untapped rage which seems to be creating a pattern in my life. Everything starts off sweet, but after about a year or so of working on whatever I become pissed off and fed up and then proceed to burn my bridges with co-workers and the authorities (lecturers etc). Oh dear.

Well anyway, some examples of things I have been pissed off at include:
1) guys turning up to work late and drunk - at 9 o'clock in the morning! I just think when we crew together on the yachts, and if the wind is strong, my life is literally in the hands of my crewmates and skipper. And if he's drunk, he's putting all our safety at risk.
2) Guys taking money out of the bar money - on the one hand I do understand that not every one has been born with a silver spoon in their mouth (as it seems I have had - relatively anyway), but don't we all wish we could 'borrow' some money for some food every now and then.
3) Guys taking beers out of the cooler so it gets deducted from all our salaries at the end of the month - I hate people who cannot control their drinking habit!
3) Guys sitting on the jetty chilling when the rest of us are still finishing work that's meant to be shared
4) Guys getting on their high horse and preaching about how professional they are 'always' - the same guys who sleep on the job, don't even try to talk to passengers and who are lazy about doing the jobs.

I've concluded that these are things that I shouldn't just let slip, but also which shouldn't merit so much attention or anger. Must just remember to keep breathing! The day before yesterday I had a talk with a guy who had made a stupid comment. The day after that the guys were like 'Yesterday I saw E get really angry for the first time hmmm,' and I had no idea what they were talking about. Apparently, they thought my talking with the other guy was me being angry [losing my grip on English grammar - have obviously been working with the dregs of society for too long]. I had to tell them, 'Um, that was actually me controlling my temper'.

I was also thinking before I go home, it would be interesting to find out more about how the guys view the world. But then I thought I couldn't very well sit with a tape recorder so I'd just have to glean their views from their words. I had an argument with Aaron yesterday - he said we were the bottom of the barrel [and therefore the bosses could treat us how they wanted], the bottom of the heap, the scum of the earth blah blah blah. It made me furious, even if I was the bottom of the heap, I like to think I deserve to be treated with some decency. Possibly this is a bourgeois illusion of which I have not yet been unburdened.

Extending the scope of this post beyond my navel, life has been sweet recently though - it's coming into autumn (I'm so thankful!!!!) so the days are cooler. There are days on end when the cold front from the northwest keeps blowing in - sailing when there's a lot of swell isn't so fun though. Neither is cleaning up other people's puke (love those mushroom pieces)!! Last night we went to a friend's house for a braai/barbecue in his backyard. One fire was for cooking, one was to keep warm. It was a clear night with many stars in the sky. It was cosy.

Oh the other day I was inspired to write a scene of a play about the guys. It's called Thursday Afternoon at the Skipper's Cafe and I guess one has to know the people for their portrayal to be amusing, but it does provide an insight into the atmosphere and typical conversation that goes on. I'll type it up soon - it was scribbled on the back of our daily sailing schedules and other scraps of paper.

Lastly, I've finally started to learn to surf!!! I remember in the summer of 2000, dragging my best friend to Bristol for the weekend and having plans to go to Cornwall sometime that summer to learn to surf. Never happened. Now, even though the water here is freezing (too cold even for the sharks), I finally took the plunge. Got dunked loads of times, got water up my nose, got a head cold and still had to go to work (we went on Dawn Patrol - having dragged some guys from work up at 6am!) but I've definitely been bitten by the bug. Against better advice, I got a shortboard - all the mini-mals and longboards were so ugly. I'm so superficial I know, but I knew learning to surf on a pretty board would make me more happy - and it has!!

more good times

chilling on the bench after work

hey look, we're winning! think I was on Spirit when I took this

Me at the top of the mast on Esperance

Yaku in a fishtank at the waterfront

Having a beer after work in the pouring rain - when you're already soaked, might as well enjoy it (L to R): Snoop, me, Riaan & Aaron

good times

Waterfront Penguin Liberation Front

Lazy days

The usual suspects (L to R): George Michael, Aaron, Snoop)

Table Mountain viewed from Robben Island (landmass on R)

Aaron eating a legendary Ardi's double burger

morning rain

It's a rainy day in Cape Town. I love days like these - cloudy and overcast, drizzly with a cold breeze from the north west. It reminds me of home. I'm glad I brought my wellies to South Africa, they are good for splashing in puddles. They are also useful for not slipping on the deck when sailing in the pouring rain. Rainy days also mean more energy for thinking, the sun here is so hot it's all you can do to get through your daily chores on the yachts.

When I was young, my brother had a Richard Scarry book (with those characters from Busytown) called The Best Rainy Day Book Ever. I wish I had it with me now :P Instead, I guess I'll spend the day writing to friends, reading and relaxing. What a great day at work hee hee. Hopefully the rain won't stop.

My flatmate Dorit is going home back to Germany on Tuesday. I'm sad to see her leave. We were watching a film recently where one character said to the other about how, when you're young, you don't realise how rarely it is that you meet someone you really get along with. Otherwise, you'd hang on tight to them. It's something we just now are beginning to realise. I liked the film because the characters are looking for answers to the same questions as we are right now.

new year's eve

Here's a photo taken with the engineer (Trevor also known as Chief) from the Sea Princess, the largest catamaran in the company

A Life in the Day of

In the Sunday Times Magazine, on the back page, there would be an interview each week with someone where they would describe their lifestyle and perspective on life, the universe and everything encased in a narrative about their daily life. In English class at school (we actually had one of those cool English teachers who encouraged creativity) we had to write something similar once. I've lost the one I wrote back then and my life's changed a bit, as well as my perspective. I realised I've never actually described what I do every day so here goes ...

My finances hanging by a thread, I've taken to packing my meals for the day. I used to jump out of bed ready for the day ahead, certain to be full of hard graft but the combination of post-Christmas doldrums and four month itch has set in somewhat. So the mornings tend to be a mixture of sleepy 'ten more minutes' and then Road Runner type movements of making breakfast (muesli, milk and double espresso one sugar and milk), packing lunch, grabbing sunscreen, sunglasses, sunhat, uniform (nasty red polo shirt) and running out the door five minutes (always five minutes) late.

It's a fifteen minute stroll to the waterfront where I work. Green Point is a nice neighbourhood in Cape Town, though I have to walk along two main roads. I get to the quayside where I work (Quay Five) and wave hello to the waiters from the restaurant opposite our jetty and to the touters from our company who are busy setting up for the day. When I went to university, it was impossible to walk down the street in town without having to say hello to about five people. I missed it - it's nice to go to a place where people say hello to you in the morning, smile and ask how you are.

I walk down to the jetty where the two yachts are docked and dump my bag at the picnic table in the middle of the jetty. The table is legendary, has been there as long as anyone can remember, has a suitably aged look and has been the scene of many a good conversation and laugh. I hop on board the yacht which I'm working on for the day. If it's Spirit, I'll open the hatch and climb down into the engine room (bilge) and do the engine checks first. If it's Hope, the first thing to do is to hose down the boat to get rid of all the salt deposits from the day before. It's actually a very important job to wash the salt out of the ropes otherwise both guys will be pulling ropes encrusted with salt all day (very bad for the hands and our hands get enough punishment as it is). Say hello to all the guys as everyone arrives. Do a stocktake on the bar on the boat which is always screwed up - cracking open a beer/cold drink is a perfect way to end a hard day's work!

We sail out of the harbour five times a day. Right now it's sweltering in the harbour but always breezy and cooler in the bay - it's a relief to escape and refreshing too. The wind in the morning is usually calm (10-15 knots) and the southeaster normally picks up in the early to late afternoon (around 20 knots usually) and dies down again for sunset. Depending on how exhausted I am, it can be a chore to put up with the passengers but after a couple of days' rest, I actually enjoy talking to them (horrid London misanthrope that I am). We hoist the sails as we go out of the harbour (by motor). I've been slowly building my strength every day so I can do this more and more quickly as I know the skipper is always watching. A quick, competent, strong, hardworking and alert crew member is the ideal and not everyone fulfils all those criteria and even the best guys have their hangover days! You work hard because you don't what the other guy to have to pick up your slack.

The breaks in between trips we spend getting the boat ready for the next trip or chilling on the picnic table or running to the supermarket for a pie or coffee. Pies are amazingly popular here in South Africa - it must be the unhealthy British colonial influence. There is hardly time to sit down and relax though, before the next trip. Once we're out there though, everyone's energy levels (have to!) skyrocket as the wind keeps you on your toes. Once the sails are up, the work consists mainly of adjusting the sails according to the direction of the wind and the direction of sail. Pulling in the sails is another job that often has my arms aching, and I still can't do it as quickly as the guys grr!!!

By the end of the day, surprisingly, energy levels pick up again as it's time to chill out on the yacht with the guys chatting or going to the pub (one from which they haven't been banned??). There are a lot of restaurants and pubs at the waterfront so we are spoilt for choice though of course we always end up going to the same one. There is even a special table in a special corner called The Conference Room. aaah. The best moments in life for me always seem to be the little ones and to include a random conversation.

Then I go home, have a shower and collapse into bed where I fall into a deep, deep sleep - exhausted but in a good way.